Wednesday, May 21, 2008

3 Day Potty Training Day 3: Imminent Failure

So yesterday afternoon gave me at least one confidence boosting event: Stella peed in her potty right after she woke up from her nap. Then, that evening, she had an accident literally in the middle of Tim and I reminding her to let us know before she had to go pee. Then last night a little after she went to bed, she yelled for Tim and successfully used the potty. She had one accident in the night. Then this morning she woke up and used the potty, then she pooped in the potty for Tim. I thought, "finally, it is clicking just like the "Potty Training Queen" said!" Then she had an accident with Tim, then an accident with me, then another accident with me. I was distraught. Literally. I know it's ridiculous, but all three of us are exhausted. Last night after she had the 2am accident, she took about two hours to get back to sleep, so we did too. Then this morning she woke up chattering a couple of more times before getting up for good at 7am.
This morning after the second accident, when I had been right next to her, doing everything I was supposed to, watching for the signs, reminding, praising, etc, I just lost it (I made sure to get away from Stella first). We were going to fail. And I realize this is not that big of a deal, but it was because we've wasted 3 days only to fail. So Stella had another accident with me right next to her and it hit me: The reason she's failing is because she doesn't care about using the potty right now! Stella is not going to do something unless she wants to do it, it's just her personality and it's one of the things I love most about her personality, it's just annoying when it comes to potty training. So she's had some more accidents, and I've cried some more, and I'm sort of embarassed to admit that I feel like such a failure. But it's not my achievement, it's Stella's. We're going to go ahead and finish out today because that way I won't look back and go, "What if I'd just given it the whole 3 days? Maybe a miracle would have occured." Even though that means that I'll be stuck with her until bedtime because Tim's running a race tonight. But surely I can make it a few more hours. I've already been through so much!
So now I have to decide what next? Do I just go back to diapers and pack up the potty? Use pull ups? Keep the potty out but not mention it? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that it's just not time for potty training. Even if this method worked for the other people I know who've tried it and for all the people who had the peppy testimonials on her website. And for all 6 of the Potty Queen's kids. Because I have followed it as closely as I possibly can. And when your kid has no problem peeing all over the floor two inches from you, I don't really think there's much you can do, sadly.
I guess tonight after she goes to bed I'll see what info I can find on other approaches to potty training. Maybe I can find a support group for "3 Day Potty Training Failures";)

11 comments:

gmom said...

I found your blog a little too late but your ending comment cracked me up because if you start the support group, count me in! Not only did the method not work for my daughter,(which is fine, all kids are different) but when I wrote to the Potty Queen to express my concerns and disappointment re: the lack of response to a request for help, she threatened to forward my info to her lawyer as slander!

Alicia said...

I have not tried the 3-day potty training as of yet, I'm looking at it now and it's the reason why I am here reading your blog. My daughter just turned three we've been on and off with potty training since she was about 2. I've tried everything from giving her stickers on a successful potty. Its not that she can't do it or is afraid of it, but that she just won't go. I ask her if she has to go and it's No. Then not five miniutes later she's asking to be changed. I chalk it up her being stubborn like her parents, but I really need to get her potty trained. So today I'm looking at the 3day method, I bought two new potty chairs one for each of the girls and we'll see if the little one helps push her sister into getting things done, even if she's not quite ready yet, we are going to try potty training both now. I hope you have had luck since writing this post. If you have and shared your method I would love to read about it.

Jill said...

Did you ever find that support group for 3 day potty training failures? Because I'd like to join! Would love to hear if you've had success and what worked since you tried this...since it sounds like my daughter is very similar to yours and could give less of a crap about us reminding her 10000x per hour to tell us if she has to go potty...I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who cried over being a 3 day failure as well!

Sugar-Free Fi said...

I have 5 children. With my older three, they were day trained in 2-3 days but they were:
Daughter was 2 yrs 8 months
Son 1 was 3 years 2 months
Son 2 was over 3.
I just couldn't do them any earlier as I needed to be ready, myself!

With my daughter, there was a few month gap before night training. Son 1 was night/day trained in 3 years 2 months. With son 3, there was a few month gap.

10 and a half year gap and we've had 2 more kids with the older 3 now 17, 14 and 12. Amy is 22mths and is taking off her nappy a lot (so got poo everywhere - yuk!) and saying 'poo' after she's done it. Her little sister, who was 9 1/2 weeks prem, is only 8mths old. I am not ready to toilet train Amy but my friends are all saying that Amy is telling me she's ready and to buy that 3 day online book thing. Don't know what to do as I don't think I could cope but her taking the nappy off is annoying anyway so would toilet training be any worse. She seems way too young and can't talk that much etc

Alex said...

This is really funny, because it is 3 years later, but I found your post to be spot on with what is going on with my daughter. It is day 4 for us and she peed in the potty all day yesterday, but not once today... I completely feel like a failure, and have been crying all day. I was encouraged by your thoughts about it is her triumph, not mine... Curiously, what did you end up doing?

S.R. Mokan said...

It's been quite a while since you posted this but it came up in my search for "complaints 3 day potty training". I'm at the end of day 4 with no success. My husband can't take a 3rd day off of work to help me (bc we also have an 8 wk old son). I'm not quite sure where to go from here but I will sleep much better tonight knowing that I'm not the only mother out there crying over this stupid method....

Carla said...

I cried too. It is day 4 and I had a meeting to attend... So on went the diaper. She is still telling me after she goes (she was doing this before the 3 days). And she wants to wear underwear but does jot want to sit on the darned potty. Lollipops or not!! Glad I'm not the only one. I too, cried and felt like a failure yesterday.

Caitlin said...

I agree that the program is such a let down. It says that if your child is over 22 months than they're ready PERIOD and to stay the course for three days. Well by day three my poor son was still peeing on the floor and did not want to sit on the potty. He even cried when he had to poop day three and held it back! I felt like it was too much pressure breathing down his neck "let mommy know when you have to go potty" 100 times a day. It was too much pressure and then disappointing to have to put him back in diapers again, I thought it would be for him but he was more than happy when we let it go and put diapers back on. We will go much slower now.

pawpaw said...

We also failed the 3 day method. Potty Queen does not seem to have a clue about what is developmentally appropriate for toddlers.We have suceeded with bribery and letting things take a slower more natural course.I could never recommend ANYONE pay this woman for her shocking advice.

j.c. delgaudio said...

Try the towel potty training method.

Violet said...

Lora Jenson's 3 day method is definitely a let down. I found a 3 day program MUCH more thorough that will help you with ever y thing you could possibly come across while potty training. (outings, public restrooms, potty fears, stubbornness, boys vs girls and so much more) it's like my go to when something new comes up and we have been VERY successful. HIGHLY recommend it! http://62d7fw-lrc066veju3-luqcw8e.hop.clickbank.net/