I feel all warm and fuzzy...

...when someone reviews the play I'm in and singles me out as someone to say something bad about. That makes me feel great, let me tell you! The review is overall good, even if 2/3rds of it are basically just a rehash of the plot of the play and the reviewer relating herself to the play. The last paragraph she rushes to mention some of the actors and says this about me: "As the cowboy Ben, who leaves his wife, Julie Winston-Thomas is a little unbelievable and out of place in the production, but only because the script calls for it." Thanks! Especially since everyone who has seen the play has said that I was surprisingly believeable in the role, even though I'M NOT A MAN! In fact, my own husband said that was his favorite character I play, the most believeable. And he came the same night as Ms. Hadad! And trust me, he'd be honest. And what's up with insulting me and then saying "but only because the script calls for it"? Huh? Then why mention it at all!

I've actually never had this happen, exactly, although in high school I was in a UIL One-Act production of Dancing at Lughnasa where I was the only one of the sisters not to get an award. That kind of sucked. Although you don't remember Kate, she's the rock. No one remembers the rock. Sometimes I start to think I just can't act, but then I keep getting cast. So if I really sucked, no one would cast me, right? Especially those who had worked with me. Like if I just auditioned really well?

If you want to read the full review, it's here, but warning, it contains spoilers in the very first paragraph if you haven't seen the play. So you might want to wait. Or skip to the last paragraph when they talk about how much I suck. I'd like to point out that the director did not give me even one suggestion for my characterization of a man, beyond "watch how men swagger", I had to come up with it completely on my own. I never got feedback from her during the rehearsal process as to whether it was good or not. And as I am not able to view myself from outside myself, I wasn't able to change anything if it didn't work. So I maintain it's not really my fault that Ms. Hadad didn't like it. Oh well, I should at least consider myself lucky that the bitch who reviewed Bitten! didn't review this one, I'd probably be wanting to slit my wrists right now. Actually, she hasn't reviewed anything in a while, apparently they decided to take her off reviews. Hmm, I wonder why? Could it be her vitriol?

I'm having a hard time scaring up any excitement about doing the show tonight because of my bad review. Hopefully that will go away. And hopefully I'll remember my lines!

Why don't we just live here forever?

So we went and met with the builder yesterday and they are expecting our new house to be done end of August, at the latest. To me, that actually means, end of August at the soonest and that would be just fine with me. We got to walk through the model like ours and it's much smaller than I imagined. Tim says I'm just being Albert Brooks in "Lost in America", and he's probably right, but the rooms just looked so small. Funny since I complain about the rooms in this house being too big. Go figure. Anyway, the sales lady who showed us around was like, "is your house on the market?" "No." "Girl, you need to get that house on the market! This is the season when people buy houses because kids are out of school!" I gave some lame defenses, but she's 100% right. So we're madly trying to get everything done that needs to be done. It can seem so overwhelming. Tim pointed out we used to have endless energy for this sort of thing. Of course, that was until a certain little small two-legged creature came along and zapped that energy with her baby-ray. Also, dammit, I know you have to "spend money to make money" (I watch 'Buy Me'), but all this money we're spending for fix-ups (new doorknobs, paint, carpet cleaning), sucks. We've already decided instead of replacing the carpet we're going to offer a carpet allowance. So that's another 2 or 3k off our profit. And people keep putting their houses up for sale in our neighborhood and offering them for a bowl of cat food and a potted plant. I swear, STOP SELLING YOUR HOUSE FOR CHEAP! We don't need those cheap comparables bringing down our asking price. We like the comparable two houses over that sold for $198k and the one last year down the street that sold for $250k. Of course, both of those are substantially larger than our house, but I still like those apples better than the freakin' huge house in the north section of our neighborhood that just went on the market for $169,900. The listing does say 'SOLD AS IS, NO WARRANTY', so it's probably a crap bucket, but still, how bad could a six-year old house be? Also, both it and the house down the street that's up for $179,900 (again, much larger than ours), back up to the train. And they don't have nice landscaping. And they have brick, not stone. So hopefully all the extras about our house will work for it, even if it's smaller than these others. But we're going to try and work, work, work and hopefully start talking with realtors by mid-May. I realized that after you sell, you still have like 30 days before you close, so we need to sell this house!

"Mom, you just don't listen to me!"

So I think I'm a little dense. Stella was being fussy, and kept pointing at the fridge. I showed her the pictures on the fridge and then took her away from the fridge, at which point she threw a fit. Then I held her on my lap at the table and she pointed at her high chair. I put her in it and she was happy for thirty seconds, then fussy again. I decided to change her diaper and she cried and she started doing the sign for milk. "Oh, she must be hungry!" I thought there was no way she was ready for snack since her lunch was just 3 hours ago, but I guess she didn't feel like sticking to her 4 hours between lunch and snack schedule. So I fed her and she's happily and greedily drinking her milk right now. Hopefully she'll stay in a good mood now.

It's amazing how communicative she's getting now. I just have to decipher what she's doing!

Post-Opening and Foot Update

So opening went well last night. We actually had an audience, and a couple of them even laughed, including my friend Christina, who got all the in-theatre jokes because she's an actress. That was really nice. It wasn't my most brilliant performance ever, but definitely went pretty darn smoothly, especially considering that we had only run the whole thing twice! The chick who helps me get dressed did forget to zip my boot, so I did go out in my last scene with a boot kind of flapping out to the side, but that was minor.

I wound up getting in to see a different podiatrist today and he was really nice and thorough. He spent a lot of time with me seeing exactly what hurt. And he diagnosed me. Apparently I have really high arches and so the bone/ligament that connects to my big toe, which is supposed to be doing twice the work of the rest of my toes, is not pulling its weight because it's so much higher because of my high arches. So the ligament in the middle of my foot has finally had it and is screaming in pain. He put a wrap on my foot that is already helping immensely and I'm supposed to see him again in 3 weeks, at which time if the wrap helps, we'll talk about a permanent shoe insert. So the good news is that I know what's wrong finally, the bad news is that it sounds like it is probably a life-long problem:( He also tested my reflexes and apparently I have hyper-reflexes, which combined with my high arches, led him to refer me to a neurologist because that's often a marker for people with neurology problems or something. I think he's just young and going a little overboard. I would prefer not to bother with the neurologist at all, but I figure he'll ask me about it when I go back in 3 weeks, so I guess I'd better try and go. We have definitely been spending a LOT of time in doctor's offices this year!

My Life as a Cripple

I just called the podiatrist's office because even though it has not been the two weeks my G.P. told me to wait before calling the podiatrist's office, the pain in my foot keeps getting worse and in fact spread to my right foot yesterday. It's very difficult to limp with both feet. I couldn't get an appointment until May 8th. At this rate, I'll be in a wheelchair before then.

Opening Night tonight!

So Anton opens tonight. Hopefully all will go smoothly. I actually made all my costume changes last night in our final run, so that seems to be a good sign. Hope everyone can make it!

Picture of a house like ours!

We took Tim's parents to the models today and I finally remembered to snap a photo of a house like ours, with our elevation. Although it doesn't have the cute framing in the garage door. I sure hope we get that, I will be most upset if we don't, although Tim said he will get some balsa wood and do it for me if we don't. The colors are not right, but you've seen those already. Here's another one like ours, but without the shutters:

Plus you have to imagine a lot more trees. The north version of our neighborhood is almost tree-less.

We've got a start date!

First, to Kelli's comment on my last post, does this mean they'll move in with us next? Eek! ;) Although we may actually wind up living with them between when we sell this house and our new house is ready; they generously offered to let us stay there and store all our stuff. Which is really nice. Of course, they bought a 5 bedroom house, so unless they have boarders or something, they should have some extra room.

So Tim finally emailed the sales guy at our new neighborhood to see about when we'd have a start date. We were supposed to hear from them a week and a half ago, but nothing. We call the sales guy Andy, which is short for Andrew McCarthy, who he looks like exactly. He acts like him too, but he's kind of slimy like James Spader. Can you tell we watch a lot of 80's movies? Anyway, they ARE running behind (probably because we've had the wettest Spring ever), and our start date is April 26th. We'll probably meet with the builder Monday or Tuesday. So exciting! I can finally answer people when they ask when is your house going to be ready. Also, we need to get our butts in gear with improvements on this house, we haven't done crap!

Also, can I just say I love Fisher Price? Tim's Mom, Stella and I went to Toys R' Us yesterday and Stella's Baba got Stella her birthday and Christmas gifts, which are so cool! She got a Fisher Price Barn, Fisher Price School Bus, and a set of blocks. The Fisher Price School Bus has a hispanic bus driver named Carlos, an African American kid named Mike and a little white girl named Maggie. They all fit in the wheelchair that comes with the kit. FP is so multi-culti. But all the farmers are white. In fact, I think they're all blond. Weird. So I guess the lesson is that brown children can ride the bus and be differently-abled, but they can't raise cows.

Walking, Walking, Walking

On happier news, Stella is pushing her little push-toy all over the place. She just pushes it where she wants to go while she walks, doesn't matter if it's facing the right way or not, she just forces it. It's adorable. I think she's going to walk any day now, and then, watch out!

Also, she discovered how to pull the water filter out of the fridge. How, I have no clue, it just looks like part of the fridge, but apparently not to a baby.

Roxie has not learned to get out of the way when Stella comes at her with the push-toy. Poor old, senile, deaf Roxie.

Allrighty, then!

I'm sure that has been the subject of a previous post, but anyway, just to update, Tim's parents' put an offer on a house in the neighborhood across the street. So they most likely will be living there. On the other hand, Tim's mom is watching Stella tonight so I can go to rehearsal and Tim can go to a programming class our friend Matt Howell from college is teaching. And Stella was driving me crazy so she came over early (they're at a hotel right now) so I could run lines. So there are definitely some advantages...

And for those of you who they might want to surprise with their house news, you never saw this;)

What a Weekend!

I am tired, tired, tired! In addition to having 2.5 hours of rehearsal every night this weekend, my in-laws were in town and we went and looked at a buttload of houses with them. It's fun to look at houses, but it's also very tiring, especially with my bum foot. Yesterday we looked from 2:30 to 6:30. 4 Hours may not sound like much, but all the houses were in a 5 mile radius. There was very little time spent in the car. All this walking through houses and it looks like they still have their hearts set on the neighborhood across the street from us. It's just so close! But they want a new house that's close to downtown and is on a bus route. This is not easy to find. We went out to Belterra Saturday, which was beautiful, but Tim's Mom decided it was too far from town for Tim's Dad. Despite this fact she still had us look at like 3 houses there.

It's weird because they act like they're absolutely in love with any house they look at, like I think they're about to get out the checkbook and sign an offer, but then we leave and they're eventually like, no. Yesterday we looked at 3 houses in Grand Oaks, the neighborhood across the street, like 5 or 6 houses in Sweetwater Glen which is a newer and cheaper version of the neighborhood across the street, and The Oak at Twin Creeks, which is a gorgeous hill country-like high end neighborhood on South First off of Slaughter. Once again, Tim's mom acted like it was absolutely gorgeous, we went through 3 or 4 houses, and then it turns out nope, Grand Oaks is still the favorite. I suggested scores of neighborhoods for them, and especially since they kept saying they wanted a view, I thought The Oak would be perfect. It's the closest you can get to the hill country close in. But I think "a view" to them just means some trees because that's all Grand Oaks has to offer and that's their favorite. It's a lot to get used to, having your in-laws live in town with you, and having them right across the street is going to make it that much more difficult. But I don't feel like I can say no, since they just are so completely head over heels in love with it, so much so they won't even consider anywhere else. Sigh.

Ah, and it's Monday, God, I hate Monday, Stella is being just awful today!

Why, oh why do I post on that stupid list?

So I belong to a Yahoo! group that's for moms in Austin. I don't post frequently or with the fervor of a lot of the moms on the list. I don't go to the happy hours or the goddess gatherings or the playgroups (okay, I went to one, but most of them are during Stella's naptime and in strange parts of town). But I skim the digests, post questions when I have them, and answer people's questions when I feel I have some wisdom to impart. I need to stop doing this because apparently I have no wisdom.

First, a week ago, this chick who I knew from yoga, and who annoyed me endlessly in person, and then annoys me often on the list, said she was looking for a house down south but was worried it was "full of gun-toting Republicans" (south austin, not the house). I ignored this comment, and despite the fact that I know that me and this chick are like oil and water, I responded about our great neighborhood, saying "no gun-toting Republicans here. Just a nice, family-oriented neighborhood that is one giant cul-de-sac. We've got a couple of houses for sale." Period, that's it. Well she responds on list "That neighborhood has always weirded me out. I mean, who wants to pattern a neighborhood after Overland Park, Kansas. I mean, the street names are all places from that town which sucks and the main street is the site where settlers "converted" (slaughtered) the indians". I was livid! WTF, insulting someone's home? And what the hell, our neighborhood is not patterned on Overland Park, just the street names and the neighborhood name are. I wouldn't even have known that's where "Overland Park" came from, if my friend Josh, who is from Kansas, hadn't come over and remarked on it. Okay, biotch, whatever, it's on! But I contained my rage because I don't want to be flamed off the list and she's more popular than I am, but I couldn't resist saying, "If street names are more important to you than living in a nice neighborhood, then yes, you should look elsewhere." Or something like that. And then I didn't read the emails for a while because I was actually livid about the whole thing and it cost me some sleep. Ridiculous, huh?

So then today this girl posts about how she's moving from Las Vegas and what are good areas in Austin to live in? She says that her budget is the low $100's (dream on, sister!), and that she wants at least half an acre so they can build on the house. Also, at least 1200 sq. ft. Then she mentions that she's an actor and she would want to teach classes and direct. She said her real estate agent had found places in Leander and Round Rock that fit her budget. So I write a nice email that I thought extensively about, about how Austin keeps going up, up, up in price, which is the bad news, but the good news is that both Round Rock and Leander have active community theatres and that I had a theatre company and would be happy to help her/answer any questions she had about the tight knit theatre community we have here. Well Bitch responds with "I'm Equity, so I can only do professional theatres. I've submitted my resume for teaching at Zach Scott (and some other place I'd never heard of)" Well, okay, good for you, pat yourself on the back! And good luck breaking into the "world of nepotism" that exists at the "professional theatres" in town!

Okay, time for dinner, enough ranting. I am offering no more advice.

Stella vs. a Lime

Here it is, as promised. Stella "enjoying" her lime in Fredericksburg.

Fast Blog

So I won't be blogging as much and haven't been because I'm really concentrating on working on my script for Anton. We open next Thursday, a week and two days, eek! Also, Stella's being a bit clingy. But I missed forcing my random thoughts on others, so rather than working on my script, I'll blog quickly and in no particular order:

1) "Prayerfully Consider _______" This is our church's guilt card. They're always using it to try and guilt us into doing things, as in, "prayerfully consider donating more money to our church (so we don't go under)" or "prayerfully consider chairing one of our 2,000 committees that we have for a membership of 100", or the latest from my friend Todd who is moving to Mexico in May with his family, "prayerfully consider taking over my sunday school class after I move." I was all set just to respond with no, are you crazy?, I have tons going on and that is Stella's nap time, but then I got to that line in his email and so now I have to "prayerfully consider" it first. We're kind of annoyed at our church right now. Easter Sunday had lots of beautiful music, but prior to that they'd been putting aside the hymns for very simple "contemporary" songs. Blech. Also, we've been having to read the Lord's Prayer off the overhead because they've decided to do a more contemporary version. That actually may drive me to another church if they keep that up. I like the fact that no matter where you go, almost everyone can recite the Lord's Prayer from Memory. I think it's really beautiful.

2) Stella has a love/hate relationship with limes I'll have to get the video up eventually, but while we were in Fredericksburg, Tara gave her a lime. Stella kept licking it, and then like shivering because it was so tart, but then she'd lick it again. It was adorable.

She also had sausage and mashed potatoes, both for the first time, and she ate them up like they were crack. Tim couldn't cut up the sausage with the butter knife fast enough. AND she got to enjoy her first Oompa band. Here she is throwing back her water as Tara throws back her beer. Sausage makes you thirsty! Stella was incredibly well behaved and we had a really fun roadtrip. Yay for sausage and beer and good friends!

3) More mysterious ailments This time it's my foot. It has been hurting for about the past week. I don't remember injuring it in any way, and at first I thought it was just because I'd been wearing really cheap flat flip flops too much. But then yesterday it started to get really bad, like I couldn't put weight on it, so I made a doctor's appointment, and then today it was swollen a little bit on top. So they did xrays, but nothing's broken. Basically, something's probably irritated and the doctor gave me a prescription for prescription strength Aleve. If it's still hurting in two weeks, I have to go to a podiatrist. Great timing, I don't have enough going on right now. I'm hoping it gets better soon because it's really sucking. It's beautiful outside and Stella and I are going stir-crazy, but no walk or run for us:(

4) An amendment to my last post I said I'd never kissed a stranger. Actually, when I auditioned for Two Gentlemen of Verona a few years ago, Norman told me to run across the room and kiss the actor I was auditioning with. The poor kid looked terrified as I came at him, but I did kiss him. And he was definitely a stranger. And for all my trouble, I earned about 4 lines of dialogue. Go figure.

This Morning's Time Waster

From Kelli's blog, Favorites Meme:
10 FAVORITES

1)Color: Purple
2)Food: pizza
3)Musical Group: The Smiths
4)Song Right Now: Smile by Lily Allen. It gets stuck in your head like a fungus
5)Movie: Drugstore Cowboy, Singles, Reality Bites
6)Sport: The Olympics?
7)Season: Spring, which is like February in Texas
8)Day of the Week: Friday
9)Ice Cream Flavor: Amy’s Ice Cream dark chocolate with strawberries
10)Person: Tim

9 CURRENTS
1)Current Mood: Procrastination. I should go clean the kitchen, but Tim’s working at home today and I like to be in the same room with him. Also, at any moment Stella will wake up from her nap, so I don’t want to start something.
2)Current Scent: I’ve worn The Body Shop’s Vanilla oil. since I was in high school.
3)Current Clothes: old navy jeans with the hem ripping out and my very pilly old navy light blue shirt with the dark blue flower, ¾ sleeves.
4)Current Desktop: It’s supposed to be a cute picture of Stella, but I can never get it to work, I don’t know why. So it’s just a dark blue background.
5)Current Ringtone on Cell Phone: don’t have one.
6)Current Music: the sound of Tim playing some video game. He’s working hard:)
7)Current Time: 11:29am
8)Current Surrounding: I’m on the bed in the office and Lucy’s totally messed up the covers by burrowing into them.
9)Current Event Happening Today: I’m going to see “My Child, My Child, My Alien Child” at Hyde Park tonight with Anna. I’m debating over taking Stella to get some shoes, but that probably won’t happen.

8 FIRSTS
1)First Best Friend: Tara, we were friends from like 3-6 until I moved.
2)First Kiss: Josh, my best friend turned boyfriend turned best friend again when his boyfriend called to tell me Josh was gay. Homecoming my freshman year. A yearbook photographer forced us to kiss, and it was so fast, he actually caught us after the kiss and it looks like Josh’s tongue is hanging out. Yes folks, my first kiss is in the yearbook. People were always coming up to me and saying, “Are you the girl who…?” Yes, yes that was me. And I explained a thousand times what happened and why the tongue was hanging out but they didn’t believe me!3)First Screen Name: I don’t know what that means?
4)First Pet: We had goldfish, but the first I really remember was Beaker, a hamster I got when I was 6, I think.
5)First Piercing: My Ears, age 7. They hurt, so I let them close up and got them re-pierced later.
6)First Crush: Brad Goertz, 2nd grade.
7)First Music: Well, I loved Blondie’s Auto American, which my parents got when I was about 3.
8)First Car: A 1981 Ford Fairmont, magenta colored and named Magenta for the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

7 LASTS
1)Last Class: Hmm, does Sunday School Count? We went to the Perspectives class at our church until December when Stella switched her nap to coincide with Sunday school. Before that it was Baby Care Basics the month before Stella was born.
2)Last Drink: decaf coffee
3)Last Trip: Houston for Christmas. But we’re going to Fredericksburg tomorrow. Whoo-hoo!4)Last Kiss: Tim, last night before we went to sleep.
5)Last Movie Seen at the Theater: Children of Men.
6)Last Phone Call: Left a message for Anna to remind her of the play tonight.
7)Last CD Played: Full cd? Hmm, I think it was Franz Ferninand’s first album.

6 HAVE YOU EVERS
1)Have you ever dated one of your best guy friends? Yes, see Josh in kissing story above.
2)Have you ever broken the law? Yes
3)Have you ever been arrested? No
4)Have you ever skinny-dipped? Yes.
5)Have you ever been on TV? Yes, I was on the news for the breastfeeding rally at the Capitol a month or two ago, but I didn’t see it.
6)Have you ever kissed someone you didn’t know? No.

5 THINGS
1) 1 thing you?re wearing: blue beaded bracelet Anna gave me as a thank you for her baby shower.
2)1 thing you?ve done today: tickle Stella to make her giggle
3)1 thing you?re bothered by: George W. Bush’s arrogance
4)1 thing you can?t live without: music
5)1 thing you do when you?re bored: read gossip sites like Defamer and Superficial

4 PLACES YOU HOPE TO TRAVEL TO
1)Spain
2)France
3)The Carribbean
4)Hawaii

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO
1) Tim
2) My Mom
3) Anna

2 CHOICES
1)Black or White? Black
2)Hot or Cold? cold.

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO?
Own a theatre so we can do plays whenever we want to, not whenever we can get a slot at someone else’s theatre.

Ah, yes the clip thing

hairclip functioning as photo aid

Julie has a sharp eye and noticed Stella has a clip in her hair in her "Almost Easter Bunny" photo. I did indeed purchase some clips that boldly said "NOT FOR CHILDREN UNDER 3, CHOKING HAZARD" almost as boldly as they said "BABY HAIRCLIPS". I use them in photos and only allow them to remain in her hair while I'm supervising her. They also made an appearance this morning to help keep banana and cereal out of her hair. I can't say whether that will be an ongoing thing or not, although they are very helpful for that purpose.

hairclip functioning as food-repellant aid

Oh, and they are SO FRIGGIN' CUTE, mostly because you can now see all of her adorable face!

Well, we TRIED to see the Easter Bunny

Stella and I met Anna and Daniel at the mall today, all dolled up and ready to see the Easter Bunny. We arrived and there wasn't a line and the Easter Bunny was standing cooling itself in front of a fan. It (we found out it was a she once It started talking), came over to us and said that there wasn't anyone to take our pictures, they were supposed to be there at 11:30, but here it was after noon and they weren't there. She said we could use our own camera to take a picture if we wanted. I thought I'd go ahead and do that, but then she made the mistake of coming and talking to Stella, who was still in her stroller. Stella eyed her warily, but then the bunny touched her and Stella started wailing a wail she only uses when she's gotten a shot or hit her head. It was quite something. The Bunny moved on to Daniel, who I was sure would have the same reaction. He did. So we apologized to the Bunny, who felt really bad, and went to sit in the food court, calm the kids down, and wait for the Bunny's assistant to show up. I nursed Stella because I'd run out of time to make her lunch before we left the house. She seemed happy and I checked back and it looked like the bunny was still alone. We decided to head back down and decided we'd try again to get the baby's pictures with the Easter Bunny with my camera. We came up with an elaborate system whereby I would place Stella on the Easter Bunny's lap as Anna distracted her from looking behind her and then take a picture and then we'd switch and I'd do the same for Daniel. But as we approached Bunny land on the elevator, we saw the Bunny walk off into the distance. I think she'd finally gotten fed up. We waited for a few minutes and up walked a woman and her three-year old little boy. She said she'd been there since 9:30! Apparently no one ever showed up that morning, and a manager had been calling to try and find someone to take pictures, and they were supposed to show up at 11:30, but obviously never did (it was 20 to one at this point). The lady said she lived in Kyle which was, "hardly Alaska" but far enough that she didn't want to give up. She'd been shopping and even gotten her son's haircut. She said the Bunny had been letting parents take pictures on his chair and on the set. So we took some pictures on the Bunny's throne. But no Bunny. That's okay, both Anna and I agreed that we knew there was a good chance the kids would freak and we wouldn't be able to get a picture of them on its lap. We still got some adorable shots, especially the ones of both of them on the chair together. And I saved some scratch:)

Speaking of scratch, Tara read my post about Fredericksburg and asked if we wanted to go there Friday since she also had Friday off. Tim and I weren't sure because we felt guilty spending dough, even though it sounded like fun. Then my parents sent us a little money in our Easter card to "go out to eat for Easter". Thanks Mom and Dad! So we're going, guilt-free. Good Friday indeed!

Thriftiness and Stella is Cool, man!

So Stella now gives us high fives. It is really cool. She thinks it's funny too. You'll hold up your hands and say, "High five!" and she slaps your hands. It's awesome! She also chooses what to wear each day, at least when I bother to give her a choice. She always points to it so passionately too, and her eyes totally light up, like, "oh, I love this outfit, I'm so glad I can wear it. That other thing is a rag." Even though you know she doesn't really care what she wears, as long as it's comfortable.

Speaking of Stella, she went in for her 12-month check-up yesterday and is 30" tall (75-90%), 22 lbs (50-75%) and I think her head is 45cm (50%), although I'm too lazy to go check the actual figure. She's been 22lbs for a while now (I think since she went in for her ear infection in February), but apparently that's not odd, since she'll only be gaining 5 lbs her entire second year!

Tim found out yesterday he has Friday, Good Friday off. So exciting, an extra surprise day off! It's especially exciting since we have to work the Co-op at our church Saturday night, so we won't be having too much fun that night. There was a proposal to do Easter crafts with the kids. I hope that fails. The only thing I'm more scared of than a room full of rambunctious children is a room full of rambunctious children with scissors. Seriously, though, there are a lot of fun kids and I actually do enjoy playing with them, even if it's exhausting. Two of the more energy-sapping sets of siblings (both boy/girl twins), won't be there, so it will be a bit easier. Although the know-it-all never shut-up, play with me now! 10 year-old will be there.

But, anyway, when I first found out Tim had Friday off, I started thinking of how we could spend the day, maybe drive to Fredericksburg and have some pints and some sausage, since I don't nurse Stella from 1-11pm, so I could get snockered:) It feels like forever since we got out of town (it has been). Then I realized that we were in saving, penny-pinching mode and that I had earlier in the day said that we were in super-frugal mode because we spent $200 over the weekend on stuff for this house (new doorknobs for the entire house, grass seed which we are actually watering on schedule so far), and $46 on Roxie's expensive dog food that keeps her from having bloody diarrhea all over the carpet that we need to keep clean (sorry to be so graphic). But we're doing really, really well so far and I'm cautiously optimistic that we'll be able to have a 20% down payment between savings and selling this house so we don't have to pay the dreaded mortgage insurance to the tune of $100/month. That's a ridiculous rip-off, let me tell you. Even though we've been paying our mortgage on time every month for the last 6 years, we have to pay $54 a month until the ratio of what we owe to the total cost of the house reaches a certain value. Even though our credit is, as the loan officer said yesterday, "fantastic" we still have to pay this bogus insurance. Speaking of the loan officer, hip-hip-hooray for good credit! I don't know why in our society your worth as a person is judged by your credit score, but apparently it is, so I'm a good person. Even if I raised pitbulls for dog fights, as long as I keep the correct number of accounts open with the correct amount of balances which are paid on time every month, I can qualify for just about anything I want. God Bless America!

Weaning, Week 4

So I really am kind of cheating by writing this post because I'm cutting out Stella's dinner feeding this week, but obviously that's not to happen for like 9 more hours. But I'm hoping by putting it in my blog, it will help my resolve to actually drop the feeding. See, I'm wavering. My hormones are going wacky as my milk supply drops, plus I've got that monthly "woman trouble thing" that makes my hormones go even more wacky. Like, last night on the way home from rehearsal, I started crying thinking about weaning Stella. See, it's not Stella that's emotionally attached to nursing (other than that 11pm feeding), but me. I think Stella could care less, but since it's there, she partakes. If I followed "self-directed" weaning with her in the lead, we'd be done. If it was mom-directed weaning, I'd probably be bitterly nursing her until she graduates college. I know many of you are saying, "well, then, why wean her now?" Because I want to be able to spend a night away from my child, alone with my husband. I want to travel again or just let Stella stay at Meme and Pappy's or Baba and Grandaddy's or her one of Aunt and Uncle's houses just because it will be fun for her and fun and healthy for us. I love my child, but I always want her to be fitting into my life, not me fitting into hers. I'm already acting again, which is fantastic for me, and I've been seeing theatre since she was a month old. I'm always a Mom first, but it's nice not to feel like a mom 24/7. The doc today said that those night feedings would be the hardest (duh!), so I might get rid of the day feedings and keep the night feedings going for a while. My grand goal is to have her weaned off the night feedings by June 2nd, my 30th birthday. I'd like to knock back a few drinks without watching the clock and, who knows, maybe even have someone else take care of her for the night. We'll just have to see. If you had told me a year ago I'd have trouble weaning Stella, I'd have thought you were out of your mind. Her first birthday couldn't get here fast enough as far as breastfeeding was concerned. But when you realize, as I did last night, that I've been connected physically and my body has been giving nutrients to this girl since July 2005 and breastfeeding is our last physical connection, you can understand why it would be hard to give up.