Sometimes you just have to put the book down

I'm reading Specimen Days by Michael Cunningham (the author of The Hours and A Home at the End of the World). It's very good, so good that I even hold my breast pump with my arm to read it, which causes the plastic circle to dig into my flesh and leave a mark. Yes, it's that good, and yes, the only time I get to read these days is when I am pumping. Anyway, I was reading it, and it's suddenly become kind of scary. Like, I feel sick at my stomach right now, even though I put it down a few minutes ago. They described a kid dying and I had to put it down. It wasn't graphic or anything, just made me sad. Those things really get to me these days. I thought kids dying equaled sad before I had Stella, but boy, oh, boy, now it can get me into hysterics. Even in a fiction book.

I really should go back to the book because it's good and I certainly don't get many opportunites to read lately (Stella's sleeping, thank God), but I'm apprehensive about reading it. Really! Isn't that sad? I guess it goes without saying that I get really into books. I read Inconsolable: How I Threw My Mental Health Out with the Diapers by Marrit Ingram in like 3 days. And I read it while ignoring my child at play, I was kind of dangling things above her while I read it with the other hand. It's that good. If you are a parent, you definitely should read it!

Stella no longer allows me to read while I am nursing, which sucks, but she also no longer takes an hour like she did when she was a newborn, so I guess there are trade-offs. LGT meeting tonight. We're discussing budget. Should be the exact opposite of fun. Me: "Can we do it with what we already have? Check out our garage for lots of set pieces and costumes." Everyone else: "No, we need all these fantastic things that will make the show awesome and cost one million dollars." I don't blame them, it's just that we need a show to make money soon or else.... I can't go there, but we really need a show to make money! Come on Zombie!

Dude, I do not know why I am so scatterbrained today. You may just want to ignore this post entirely.